Want to know what's really hard to listen to? A screaming baby. Like, inconsolable, ridiculously loud, I think somebody is probably trying to murder me, mommy why won't you fix it screaming. But apparently it's sometimes a good thing to let a baby sit and scream, because then they learn to comfort themselves or something, and learn something else about blah blah blah I don't know. Anyway. It's still hard to listen to. I want to pick her up and console her, but that has already been done quite a lot and she is definitely inconsolable. So now I get to listen to a screaming baby for an hour and a half until Jayna gets home from work. Perhaps she's cry herself to sleep, though she's already had three short naps today. Ok let's turn up the music and move on. *Pause here for a sec while I turn up the music...done. :)

So, I didn't get the job. Boo. But whatevs you just gotta get over it and move on. To be honest I didn't think I would get it because my practical interview went really badly. I got really nervous and forgot everything I was going to do. And really, it's been a long time since that interview so I'm not even bothered about it now. Just moving on.

I have been here with Kyle and Jayna and cute little Maren (Who has finally stopped crying and consented to taking a bottle. But it wasn't without much effort on the part of Kyle who gallantly endured her screaming while I came in here and turned up the music...)for almost three months. I hope that it's not going to be much longer because I am dying in this little room. There is just not enough space. I mean, I like staying with them, they're great, and we haven't hardly argued at all, it's just that there is not enough space for all of us, especially since I think Maren is going to need her own room starting in a couple of months. So I really need to get my life figured out and do something. But let's not think about that right now.

It is a rainy, rainy Saturday and I am bored out of my mind. There are things I SHOULD be doing but the thought of doing them is kind of nauseating so I am writing in this instead. All I can think about writing is things to complain about, and that would get cynical and pessimistic so I'm going to look up some story starters and write one of them for the end of this post instead.

story starter courtesy of http://writing-prompts-and-story-starters.blogspot.com/



"You're telling me that this is the bus?" said Detective Armstrong, jabbing a finger at the half-submerged wreck. "This is the bus we've been looking for? This is the bus that went missing just twenty-four hours ago?" He laughed, cold and flat, humorless, then took a final drag on his cigarette before dropping it into the sand and scuffing it out with his heel, violently, as if it was the source of all his woes. "What the hell happened here?"

 "Damned if I know." the cop replied. "That's why we called you." He was a young fellow, mid-twenties or early thirties at the most. His blonde hair ruffled in the breeze and he shifted uncomfortably in his shoes, as he gazed at the wreck of a bus.
"Well that's just it isn't it?" At this distance Armstrong could just make out the number on the bus: 421. He rolled his eyes, annoyed. "We're just expected to figure everything out. Just call us up and we'll solve all your problems."
"That's what I was told, sir." the officer replied. Stevens, Armstrong remembered. That was his name. "You guys deal with all the weird stuff."
Armstrong snorted. "That's what you were told huh? Well, I wish they wouldn't tell you that. It's not like we have any more intel then you. We just use our brains and have a fancier name." He laughed again, but stopped fairly quickly when Stevens didn't reply.
"Well, let's take a look." He sighed as he started toward the bus. The damp sand squelched under his shoes as Armstrong ducked under the yellow tape and approached the skeletal remains of the bus. He cursed softly as he approached and got a first look at the the morbid remains inside. This was the stuff of nightmares and CSI reruns. Things like this didn't actually happen in real life. At least the bus was on the outskirts of town and not smack downtown where it would attract the attention of screaming citizens and rabid news reporters.


Ok just writing that much took me like 45 minutes. That's my problem with writing. It takes me a long time to write things, and then I have to go back and re-write them over and over. One of these days I'm going to take a writing class. But it is not this day. This day, I need to finish this up and actually do something productive with my life. So this is me, finishing up.

It doesn't matter what I write, I'll just think it's stupid later.

What a day it has been. Actually, it's been a busy couple of days. Something is sort of happening with my life so I don't have to be cynical and negative and sit around and do nothing all the time. Yay!

It's really hard being patient, and it's especially hard now that things are ALMOST happening but not quite. Also, I'm fairly terrified of the future. It's going to be hard. Also, also, why is this screen so bright? I really wish I could tone it down but this silly website insists on lots of white-ness. Maybe they're racist. That was my attempt at a lame joke. :)

So here's the dealio. After I posted and was cynical about my life, I decided to get up off my rear and do some stuff. I went and saw Cali and it was soooo much fun. Her children are adorable. Jocelyn is 14 months old, and just getting to the stage where she's exploring EVERYTHING. She's just learned to walk so she's constantly getting into everything and finding new and exciting things to put in her mouth. Lyla is three and learning a lot of new words, and using even more new words, even when she doesn't really know what they mean yet. And then it was just fun to see Cali. I think I am closer to her in some ways than I am even with my sisters. Goodness knows I see her more often than my sisters sometimes. We talked late into the night and then had fun making cake this morning before I had to leave to go to an orientation thing for substitute teaching.

Orientation was boring as all get out but I will hopefully be able to start subbing on Monday. But I won't because I randomly got an e-mail from a charter school I interviewed with before I went to Nauvoo called American Preparatory Academy. They didn't have an opening for me then, but apparently their woodwind teacher is going to quit and they would like me to come to an interview on Monday for the position. I am super excited about this. I reallllllly want the job, so hopefully they like me again and I can figure out how to be a good woodwind teacher. Eeeeeeeeeee!!!

And now for the best part of the day. I got to go see the President's Own Marine band play at a random High School in Orem. Like, the Marine band that's stationed in Washington DC and plays for the president. Some people have argued that it's one of the best bands in the world, and certainly in the United States. I don't know why they were performing at a random High School in Orem but I'm glad I got to go. Even cooler, I went with Rachel, Kelly, and Marsie, who are friends from Nauvoo. There's something about listening to really good music that makes me extremely happy, and this was really good. And when I say really good I mean professional grade, exceptional, oh my gosh it's so beautiful I'm going to die music. I need to find a band and join it so I can play again.

Ok I'm extremely tired, and my eyeballs are screaming at me, so I think this is going to be it. Hopefully I'll have good news to report next time I write. ") 

I'm going to try and start writing on here again, but I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't happen very often...

Man, this website  has gotten more complicated since I created this blog waaaaay back in like 2009. How my life has changed since then. But a good change I think.

Having just returned from a short mission to Nauvoo, Illinois awhile ago (only a summer long, I rode around in a bandwagon and played my flute in the Nauvoo brass Band) I have decided that it is probably a good idea to start trying to document my life again, and I am way better at typing then I am at writing things down on paper so that's what I am going to do. The only problem with doing this, is that so much has happened that I feel like I need to explain that I get overwhelmed and just give up.

But hopefully this will be better.

I also really want to work on my writing, and I don't know of a better way to do that, then to write a journal-type thing. So we'll give it a go. And when I really don't feel like writing about my day, well, perhaps I'll write a short story, or make something up. As long as something gets written right?

Well. Here's my situation. I currently kind of hate my life but hopefully it will get better soon. See, I have now graduated from BYU Idaho, and after coming home from Nauvoo I find myself in one of those quarter-life crisis. I am not married, (And there are soooo many people who are judging me because of this, whether they do it consciously or not) nor am I seeing anyone, and so I obviously have no direction in life. (Because being married automatically makes you an adult with everything figured out...) I have moved in with my brother, living in Provo and I kind of hate it. But I don't know where else to go and Provo is a good place to meet people apparently even though I just sit in the house and do nothing.

I've applied to be a substitute teacher in the area and hopefully that starts soon. Maybe on Monday or sometime next week. Hopefully this part of my life passes soon and I will be less sadistic and have a more positive outlook on life. But let's end with something positive. Tomorrow I am going to go see my friend Cali who has two adorable children, and I get to hang out with her for awhile before I have to go try and be responsible again.
And I think that's how long this post is going to be today. The end. I have to take care of a baby.

I can't beat the Tron monster!

To clarify, I can't beat the Tron monster in the Tron section of Kingdom Hearts 2. This big robot guy with laser beams and stuff. And he's not even the biggest bad guy. But it's ok. I'm not that good at video games on account of I don't play them very often. But that's also ok, because not playing them very much is a sign that I hopefully do something better with my time. :) We hope.

So anyway, it's been awhile since I've written in here on account of I've been kind of lazy. But I shall try to keep up. Did I mention in my last post that I FINALLY got a semi-permanent job? Well I did! Yay! It's at Kent's in the deli. So every morning (Except Friday because I go to Nobilus Friday mornings...) I go to Kents and slice meat for them, and cheese, and make a bunch of sandwiches, dole out potato salad, (Which comes in milk cartons oddly enough.....) and the such. So fun. Well actually it's a lot more fun than working at Autoliv so I'll take it any day. Plus the company is much better.

Also another big thing that happened is that my brother finally got married. Yay! Just about a week ago. So that was a lot of fun, and also a bunch of stress mania. But not toooooo much. They tied the knot in the Logan temple. It was actually the first time I'd been to a sealing because I was in Thailand when Amber got married and Cali got sealed to Jake. It was really nice, and a lot simpler than I thought it would be. But after that was the fun part. We cleaned and cleaned and cleaned the house in preparation for the massive open house/reception thing that went on that evening. Also I made about 200 cupcakes and a bunch of cookies. It was great! And also I got to see Cali that weekend so I was happy. The reception went really well, lots and lots of people....and lots of treats.....but we made it somehow.

So now this weekend my parents (and the lovely couple) are in Texas on account of that being where Jayna is from, for a reception there. So I am stuck at my lovely house all by myself for the whole weekend. At first I was a little scared of it, but it's actually been really fun. I dragged my PS2 upstairs and I did DDR on it loudly last night. I've played some Kingdom Hearts which I haven't done in a very long time, and I got to practice my flute in the front room where it echoes really well. It was quite fun.

I've finally picked out what I'm going to play for my tryout and I'm finally getting into practicing. I really REALLY need to, if I have any hope of being any good when I go back to school in January. (And don't even get me started about registering for classes and that headache.....) But hopefully it will all be worth it.

Well, that's about all I can think of to write now. It's after five and Kimber's threatened to come kidnap to and have fun with her this evening, so I hope that happens sometime soon. Until then......I shall try to beat that Tron monster some more. จบ

Snuffalupagus

      Remember that guy? He used to be Big Birds friend on Sesame Street! I haven't seen that show for years so I have no idea if he's still there (probably not....that show got sooooo screwy...) but I loved him. And today I feel a little bit like him, stuffed up and a little depressed.
      We're all feeling a little under the weather this week, and I'm just barely starting to feel it. So really all I feel like typing is nnnnnnnnngggggg. But the world must go on. I sometimes feel like just typing this out makes me feel a little more sane so that's what I'm doing. Sort of.
      Today I made a dinner of fried rice, and it's just sitting on the stove with no one wanting to eat it. I made it out of necessity because I feel like we should have a good dinner on the table even though sometimes no one wants to eat it. With only three people in the house things are a lot different. So quiet all the time, and only my parents to talk to. Not that it's a bad thing, really they're great! But sometimes it just starts getting to you. Also the fact that I just can't seem to get a good job is getting me down. I have my hopes up that someone will call me tomorrow. We'll see. But what with soooo much time passing already, I can only work there, like two months and then I'm back to college. Sigh. Sigh sigh sigh. I think this is just a hard bit in my life. It shall get better when I go back to college I think.
      Sorry this one is just about me complaining. What is something good that has happened these past days?
Well, I got some money from what little work I'm doing, YAY! Also I had an AWESOME weekend with my whole family, which I wrote about before......and really I'm much luckier than many people, so I shouldn't complain.
      I will end this blog by showing my nerdy side and quoting Gandalf (because I just watched Lord of the Rings) when Frodo told him that he wished that he didn't have to deal with all the crap he was supposed to deal with. Or to be more elegant, Frodo said something like "I wish the ring had never come to me, I wish none of this had happened"
and Gandalf replied: "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given you."
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Wood thieves? My first instinct would be beavers, but i'm not willing to rule out those pesky keebler elves.

That my nonexistent friends reading this, is a quote from the TV show Psych which I watched with my little sister this evening. I love that show, but especially when I'm watching it with her, because everything is better when you're with your family and friends, which I was, this whole weekend. It was awesome. I'd forgotten how silly we get when we are all together. So much fun.

It was all fun, from our two epic Nertz battles, to a crazy, crazy DDR night. Neither Amber nor Jodie had danced the whole time I was gone, so it was fun to get together and reminisce and create some more memories as well.

This afternoon we went up Logan canyon a ways and took some family pictures. It was sooooooooo beautiful there. The leaves are at their most beautiful, and I shall stick a picture on here that I took with my phone. Not the best, cuz, it's from my phone, but hey. :)

So yeah. It was really fun. I kind of wish that I could just rewind this week and live it again, because now, when I wake up in the morning, I have to concentrate on getting more work again. Sigh. I just get a little depressed sometimes.

Also today I spoke in two wards today as a returned missionary. It was pretty fun. It makes me happy to know that I have become much more confident than I was before my mission, and I can do things like that pretty easily, or rather, I don't get so nervous I throw up or anything like I used to sorta do. So yeah. That's good. :) It's also good to remember things from my mission. It's really easy to forget.

Well, I think that's all I can think of for this report. Keep on keepin' on!
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Screwing in screws and

 Oh life. Life life life. Sometimes I just wish you didn't have to be stressful a good portion of the time.

Right now I'm sitting here waiting for my pops to come out and play Farkle or another such game with me. It's great fun. A game with dice completely up to luck. If you don't know how to play and would like to, look it up on google, I've no time to put it here. Plus that would be boring.
So, update on my life. I finally got a job yay! At Autoliv, and I want to claw my eyeballs out sometimes when I work there, on account of its so boring I'm going to die. But it's a job, and I will endure because I really need the money. Also I clean up a random factory called "Nobilus." They make doors I think.
So, I just lost spectacularly to my dad in a game of up-words. But it was really fun. I love Sunday evenings, they're the best. But tonight I'm tired. I'll do better next time. It'll be a nice long entry, with lots of smiles, and swirls, and happy things. Ehh.
Ok I think that's about it for tonight. I'm tired. Also it's late, all things indicate I should go to bed soon. So that is what I shall do.