Want to know what's really hard to listen to? A screaming baby. Like, inconsolable, ridiculously loud, I think somebody is probably trying to murder me, mommy why won't you fix it screaming. But apparently it's sometimes a good thing to let a baby sit and scream, because then they learn to comfort themselves or something, and learn something else about blah blah blah I don't know. Anyway. It's still hard to listen to. I want to pick her up and console her, but that has already been done quite a lot and she is definitely inconsolable. So now I get to listen to a screaming baby for an hour and a half until Jayna gets home from work. Perhaps she's cry herself to sleep, though she's already had three short naps today. Ok let's turn up the music and move on. *Pause here for a sec while I turn up the music...done. :)

So, I didn't get the job. Boo. But whatevs you just gotta get over it and move on. To be honest I didn't think I would get it because my practical interview went really badly. I got really nervous and forgot everything I was going to do. And really, it's been a long time since that interview so I'm not even bothered about it now. Just moving on.

I have been here with Kyle and Jayna and cute little Maren (Who has finally stopped crying and consented to taking a bottle. But it wasn't without much effort on the part of Kyle who gallantly endured her screaming while I came in here and turned up the music...)for almost three months. I hope that it's not going to be much longer because I am dying in this little room. There is just not enough space. I mean, I like staying with them, they're great, and we haven't hardly argued at all, it's just that there is not enough space for all of us, especially since I think Maren is going to need her own room starting in a couple of months. So I really need to get my life figured out and do something. But let's not think about that right now.

It is a rainy, rainy Saturday and I am bored out of my mind. There are things I SHOULD be doing but the thought of doing them is kind of nauseating so I am writing in this instead. All I can think about writing is things to complain about, and that would get cynical and pessimistic so I'm going to look up some story starters and write one of them for the end of this post instead.

story starter courtesy of http://writing-prompts-and-story-starters.blogspot.com/



"You're telling me that this is the bus?" said Detective Armstrong, jabbing a finger at the half-submerged wreck. "This is the bus we've been looking for? This is the bus that went missing just twenty-four hours ago?" He laughed, cold and flat, humorless, then took a final drag on his cigarette before dropping it into the sand and scuffing it out with his heel, violently, as if it was the source of all his woes. "What the hell happened here?"

 "Damned if I know." the cop replied. "That's why we called you." He was a young fellow, mid-twenties or early thirties at the most. His blonde hair ruffled in the breeze and he shifted uncomfortably in his shoes, as he gazed at the wreck of a bus.
"Well that's just it isn't it?" At this distance Armstrong could just make out the number on the bus: 421. He rolled his eyes, annoyed. "We're just expected to figure everything out. Just call us up and we'll solve all your problems."
"That's what I was told, sir." the officer replied. Stevens, Armstrong remembered. That was his name. "You guys deal with all the weird stuff."
Armstrong snorted. "That's what you were told huh? Well, I wish they wouldn't tell you that. It's not like we have any more intel then you. We just use our brains and have a fancier name." He laughed again, but stopped fairly quickly when Stevens didn't reply.
"Well, let's take a look." He sighed as he started toward the bus. The damp sand squelched under his shoes as Armstrong ducked under the yellow tape and approached the skeletal remains of the bus. He cursed softly as he approached and got a first look at the the morbid remains inside. This was the stuff of nightmares and CSI reruns. Things like this didn't actually happen in real life. At least the bus was on the outskirts of town and not smack downtown where it would attract the attention of screaming citizens and rabid news reporters.


Ok just writing that much took me like 45 minutes. That's my problem with writing. It takes me a long time to write things, and then I have to go back and re-write them over and over. One of these days I'm going to take a writing class. But it is not this day. This day, I need to finish this up and actually do something productive with my life. So this is me, finishing up.

It doesn't matter what I write, I'll just think it's stupid later.

What a day it has been. Actually, it's been a busy couple of days. Something is sort of happening with my life so I don't have to be cynical and negative and sit around and do nothing all the time. Yay!

It's really hard being patient, and it's especially hard now that things are ALMOST happening but not quite. Also, I'm fairly terrified of the future. It's going to be hard. Also, also, why is this screen so bright? I really wish I could tone it down but this silly website insists on lots of white-ness. Maybe they're racist. That was my attempt at a lame joke. :)

So here's the dealio. After I posted and was cynical about my life, I decided to get up off my rear and do some stuff. I went and saw Cali and it was soooo much fun. Her children are adorable. Jocelyn is 14 months old, and just getting to the stage where she's exploring EVERYTHING. She's just learned to walk so she's constantly getting into everything and finding new and exciting things to put in her mouth. Lyla is three and learning a lot of new words, and using even more new words, even when she doesn't really know what they mean yet. And then it was just fun to see Cali. I think I am closer to her in some ways than I am even with my sisters. Goodness knows I see her more often than my sisters sometimes. We talked late into the night and then had fun making cake this morning before I had to leave to go to an orientation thing for substitute teaching.

Orientation was boring as all get out but I will hopefully be able to start subbing on Monday. But I won't because I randomly got an e-mail from a charter school I interviewed with before I went to Nauvoo called American Preparatory Academy. They didn't have an opening for me then, but apparently their woodwind teacher is going to quit and they would like me to come to an interview on Monday for the position. I am super excited about this. I reallllllly want the job, so hopefully they like me again and I can figure out how to be a good woodwind teacher. Eeeeeeeeeee!!!

And now for the best part of the day. I got to go see the President's Own Marine band play at a random High School in Orem. Like, the Marine band that's stationed in Washington DC and plays for the president. Some people have argued that it's one of the best bands in the world, and certainly in the United States. I don't know why they were performing at a random High School in Orem but I'm glad I got to go. Even cooler, I went with Rachel, Kelly, and Marsie, who are friends from Nauvoo. There's something about listening to really good music that makes me extremely happy, and this was really good. And when I say really good I mean professional grade, exceptional, oh my gosh it's so beautiful I'm going to die music. I need to find a band and join it so I can play again.

Ok I'm extremely tired, and my eyeballs are screaming at me, so I think this is going to be it. Hopefully I'll have good news to report next time I write. ") 

I'm going to try and start writing on here again, but I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't happen very often...

Man, this website  has gotten more complicated since I created this blog waaaaay back in like 2009. How my life has changed since then. But a good change I think.

Having just returned from a short mission to Nauvoo, Illinois awhile ago (only a summer long, I rode around in a bandwagon and played my flute in the Nauvoo brass Band) I have decided that it is probably a good idea to start trying to document my life again, and I am way better at typing then I am at writing things down on paper so that's what I am going to do. The only problem with doing this, is that so much has happened that I feel like I need to explain that I get overwhelmed and just give up.

But hopefully this will be better.

I also really want to work on my writing, and I don't know of a better way to do that, then to write a journal-type thing. So we'll give it a go. And when I really don't feel like writing about my day, well, perhaps I'll write a short story, or make something up. As long as something gets written right?

Well. Here's my situation. I currently kind of hate my life but hopefully it will get better soon. See, I have now graduated from BYU Idaho, and after coming home from Nauvoo I find myself in one of those quarter-life crisis. I am not married, (And there are soooo many people who are judging me because of this, whether they do it consciously or not) nor am I seeing anyone, and so I obviously have no direction in life. (Because being married automatically makes you an adult with everything figured out...) I have moved in with my brother, living in Provo and I kind of hate it. But I don't know where else to go and Provo is a good place to meet people apparently even though I just sit in the house and do nothing.

I've applied to be a substitute teacher in the area and hopefully that starts soon. Maybe on Monday or sometime next week. Hopefully this part of my life passes soon and I will be less sadistic and have a more positive outlook on life. But let's end with something positive. Tomorrow I am going to go see my friend Cali who has two adorable children, and I get to hang out with her for awhile before I have to go try and be responsible again.
And I think that's how long this post is going to be today. The end. I have to take care of a baby.